Monday, November 18, 2013

Very important reads--courageous adoptive parents, owning your adoption, and working with abandoned children.

I wanted to share three posts I read this past week about international adoption.  One is from DRC and two are from Uganda.  All are very important.

The first from DRC was posted on November 14th, 2013 and has been circulated quickly in DRC adoption circles.  I wish I could say this is the first post I have read with a story like this or with this particular agency, but it's not.  This story about the same agency and same orphanage was posted October 6, 2012 and was originally shared on their personal blog.  Another family shared their story last week here.  Please read their story.  The family showed strength and courage not only in their actions during the adoption but also in sharing their story. Below is a brief excerpt, please read the entire post found here

Looking back if there hadn't been the familiar T-shirt we wouldn't have accepted the oldest son's referral. If when we learned about the twins, we hadn't already felt a bond with the oldest, we might not have considered adopting them as well. If we hadn't received the donations, we would not have been able to pay the referral fee enabling us to keep the siblings together. If my parents had never crossed paths with our friends from Africa, we could have never known the truth…this could have so easily been a situation of a mother lied to in which she gives up her children, all 4 children are referred to different adoptive families, never knowing who they really are. A mother left wondering when her children will return, never to hold her babies again…heartbreak…evil…loss…

Our children's birthmother told my friend's sister, there in that hospital room," I prayed". I prayed for my children for their future, for our family. She was, out of love, sacrificing to give her children a better future, with the promise of knowing they would be home again, in her arms. She felt such desperation and then when the children were gone, she was so empty. Her arms were empty. She prayed, God did you hear me? I prayed for you to lead, but now my arms are empty. But, she never stopped praying. And as she prayed... we prayed. God, we want to change the life of a child, lead us. We set out to bring one child home…God has given us the opportunity to help 4 children home. While my heartbreaks for what will not be for our family, I am overcome with love and compassion for this mother who has found her children…Divine Intervention...

The second is from Uganda and it is a story of hope after a family chose to love a small baby and made decisions in his best interest after circumstances changed.  It is a very encouraging story and one that should give us all hope that change can happen and we can be a part of it.  Her words are challenging and should speak to us all.  The post can be found here.  Below is a small excerpt, please read the entire story, it is very inspiring in the midst of a very difficult situation. 

The Front Line Against Wrongful Adoptions… Adoptive Parents
You, adoptive parent, must OWN the adoption you participate in!

You must be on the front line, make hard choices and even walk away from a child you are smitten with because it is the right thing to do for everyone involved!

You must do this on your own and not rely on agencies, baby homes or lawyers to make this call for you and your potential child! You must refuse to work with people and places who are using orphans to fund their lifestyles.

God has called you to family preservation just as much as He has called you to adoption. They go hand in hand.

We are so thankful to have seen such a perfect case right before our very eyes of what families CAN do, despite all odds to care for and protect their children... when we step back and give them the chance and tools to do it!

And a last post from the founder of Child's i Foundation in Uganda about some of the hard reasons behind child abandonment and their belief that "families should always be supported to keep their children instead of feeling they have no choice but to abandon them."

Neema.  One of the children that came to the orphanage after her mother died in birth.  We want to be a part of helping her move back home with her family.  An orphanage should never be a child's home.  Consider supporting our work.  Please check out our website at  Thank you so much!

1 comment:

Jess said...

Please, please, anyone who read today's post go and read the article about the families who adopted through the same agency. We also used them, and I am haunted by what the true story of our birthmothers are vs. what we were told. It hurts me so much to think that there may be two mothers in Congo who wanted their children so badly, and were somehow told lies that they would be coming back. You do not want to have to deal with that, trust me. I love my kids, and am trusting that God has his hand in all of this, but I am devastated by the idea that if we can take our kids back one day to find their birth families, what will they say to us? What pain might have been caused?